Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is right around the corner. It may mean nothing to some people, which is okay. It probably means something to other individuals, so I’ll share what it means to me.

When I think of Thanksgiving, it means tons of food, fat roasted Turkey oozing with sage and butter, stuffing with a rich gravy and all requisite sides: green beans, mashed potatoes, cranberries, and Pumpkin or Pecan pie smothered in lots of whipped cream (please). All of this is part and parcel with a week of travel, cooking preparations, and culminating with the eventual of gaining a well-earned 10 lbs. seemingly overnight and without guilt or shame.
So, when I’m in that well deserved food coma; don’t wake me! I’ve earned it! I always think of my mother, Ely during this very special holiday. This was her favorite feast day and sadly she passed away on a Thanksgiving week those many years ago. She prepared an early Thanksgiving feast and ate her share of the Turkey the night before. She whispered a prayer before tucking herself in, “Thank you, Lord for your bounty.” Praising God was part of her nightly ritual, and then she never woke up. Mom was snoring, like a hummingbird and my sister, Conni cracked the door and peaked in before work, at the break of dawn.

She thought, ‘Oh, she must be exhausted. I should just let her sleep.’ Mom continued to sleep peacefully, her snores still humming until early morning when my nephew Robbie Jr., just five years old at the time, tried to wake her. He needed to go to school and she was usually delegated the Grand-Nanny duty of walking him to kindergarten.

“Oma, wake up please.” Robbie said. He gently shook her trying to wake her from her sleep. “Will you walk me to school? I’ll be late.”My brother-in-law, Robert usually did an eight-hour shift, but he’d said, “I had a strange tingling feeling all morning that made me want to come home early from work.”As soon as he arrived and parked his car in the garage, a flood of emotions tumbled in his system. He sensed something was very wrong. When he got home around midday; he was surprised to see Robbie still at home playing with his Legos.

“What’s up, buddy?” he asked. “Why aren’t you in school?”“Oma is still sleeping.”
With Robbie’s innocent response, Robert’s heart pulsed strongly as he rushed into mom’s room and found Mom on the floor. She was still breathing. Immediately, he called 911 and she was rushed to the hospital. My sister Conni went to the gym to decompress from work; she was doing Muay Thai training. Suddenly, a message reverberated through the hall, ‘Attention Conni, come to the front desk please!’ The loudspeaker paged her. Conni was met by her husband Robert at the reception and when she found out about Mom, she released a primal scream from her gut, “No, no, no!” Robert wrapped his arm around her to console her. Shaking, she felt like her umbilical cord had been ripped out of her navel. She and mom were very very close, especially in those last days. Mom gave up on her retirement dream of coming home to Cebu City and had accepted the future of her remaining days in California to be closer to her children who for the most part had migrated to the US.

In the hospital bed she lay in a coma as family members flew in from all over the state to bid their goodbyes. Her sisters were in Europe at that time doing a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. We decided to spare them. Knowing how close they were, they would cut short their long-planned trip to be with their sister. Dad just arrived in Manila International Airport after a grueling 36-hour flight, including all the stopovers. He took the next flight back to the US the moment he arrived at the Manila International Airport. And I was still living in Frankfurt, Germany at that time.When all my siblings made it to the hospital, Carmen, a family friend walked in.

“Huh, what are you doing here?” my sister asked annoyed, thinking this was an exclusive family affair.
“How did you know about my mom?

“Oh, I just saw your mom in a vision. She asked me to come here and lead the rosary.” Accepting her explanation in good faith, everyone presents at the room joined in prayer,
“Hail Mary, full of grace….” after the rosary was over, Mom exhaled her last breath. Despite being in Germany, somehow, I knew that mom was gone when I was caught in a reverie that took me through her life’s journey, the second her spirit left her body; I experienced HER life flashed before MY eyes. As if she took me as far as she could, but finally she traveled where I could not go. I wasn’t even asleep, I was wide awake when all this transpired.So, it follows that Thanksgiving for me is always bittersweet. It reminds me of my mom’s final transition and the importance for being thankful for all that I have. I still wonder why she loved this holiday so much because when we were still living in the Philippines, we hardly celebrated Thanksgiving at all; it was an American holiday. Sometimes we’d have a turkey, but it wasn’t like how we celebrated it in the US.

In the US it was a fete celebrated in a big way. People would fly from different part of the state to be with family. The airports were always super crowded. Even on the day prior to Thanksgiving, the freeways were stunted with traffic. A normal 45-minute drive could become a 3-4 hours delay. Everyone wanted to be home with family; I guess I shouldn’t wonder at all because family meant everything to my mom. Historically the sanitized story goes that Thanksgiving originated when the Pilgrims fled religious persecution arriving by the ship named ‘Mayflower’ at Plymouth rock, which later became Massachusetts. They survived a long treacherous trip with half of the people getting sick and dying along the way. Upon arrival they were met by the ‘Indians’ who were the indigenous people, the native ‘Americans,’ who shared their Fall Harvest with the new arrivals. This gave them a new lease on life and of course a reason to celebrate! From that time on forth, the story goes, Thanksgiving was celebrated every year.
Of course, this recounting is a fantasy. There were 102 passengers and 30 crew on the Mayflower in September 1620; the Mayflower colonists suffered a lot during the first winter in the New World. They suffered from lack of shelter, scurvy, and generally poor conditions from having been on board the Mayflower. The Wampanoag people would live to regret taking pity on the Pilgrims. The Pilgrims were starving when the Wampanoag spared them in 1620, but what makes this more amazing was those 6 years earlier the English had met the Wampanoag!

During the meeting Europeans passed along diseases while they abducted and sold into slavery 20 Wampanoag in Malaga, Spain. Among them was Tisquantum, known to the English as ‘Squanto.’ He would spend years trying to find his way home. From the advent of the slavers in 1616, and for the next 30 years or so, the Wampanoag would suffer disease outbreaks which were viewed by the Europeans as the ‘Pagans’ being swept away by God. This of course, was only the beginning of the genocide that would follow for century throughout what would become North and South America.I don’t know what resonated with my mom about Thanksgiving, maybe she identified with the naïve stories of immigrants making a new life for themselves in the US, after all she was in her 50s when she immigrated to the US. Maybe it was the joyous joining together with family so far from her home? Or simply the bounty that we receive daily.

Whatever it was, Thanksgiving was a big deal for her. So much so, that every year at Thanksgiving since my mom passed, I would dream about her and we’d catch up like old friends.I associate Thanksgiving with my mom,but could never relate to it as deeply as my mom did. Like her I migrated to the US from Germany, but in my 40s. The Pilgrim imagery, even the sanitized version, reminded me of the time when Magellan came to the Philippines and landed on our island of Cebu. Magellan arrived with his 5 ships in the name of King Philipp of Portugal and he was met by Rajah Humabon and his queen. On that day, 800 natives were baptized, a major feat for Magellan! Rajah Humabon and Magellan sealed their brotherhood in a blood compact and exchanged gifts. While Magellan gave Rajah Humabon, the cross and Sto. Nino, who later became our patron saint. Rajah Humabon bequeath Magellan his treasury of gold. These historical events are reenacted in Cebu yearly concluding in what can be described as a Filipino Mardi Gras. It’s one of our biggest holidays of the year, called ‘Sinulog’. Suffice it to say that there are many versions of these monumental event but being a history major in college colors my perceptions. This was my ‘take-away’ on the history of Cebu in a nutshell… and how it informs my view of conquest.

For me Thanksgiving is a time for family, gratitude and its an anodyne for grief. Whenever I feel down, maybe an intermittent wave of the blues, I have a mini-Thanksgiving. I start counting my blessings and it makes me feel better by the end of the day.This is one of the reasons why I chose to come home and live in the Philippines after living many years abroad in Germany and in the US. I am confronted with poverty around me daily, but how can I not be grateful for the many blessings I have, when I see those so much less fortunate than myself demonstrating gratitude. it makes my struggles seem trivial by comparison. Little annoyances, like the toothpaste being pressed from the middle of the tube; or if the toilet papers roll is tucked the wrong way round, pale when compared to real problems. I live next to a fishing village, and when I greet the day with the first moments of sunrise, coffee in hand, they also welcome the sun with warm smiles and that enliven my day. We all have troubles.

This is the human condition, but many of my neighbors deals with life and death survival issues, and they still manage to beam me a smile or share laughter; to me these are nuggets of gold. I’m inspired by those more fortunate who have achieved so much in this life, and I’m doubly inspired knowing those less fortunate shares their wisdom with me, highlighting what’s important in life. Most often its family! I’m not always able, but we help where we can and when we can. Humanity is truly amazing in whatever state we are in. I’m grateful knowing the glass is have full, seeing the sunsets, strolls on the beach shore during low tide, and hearing our puppy’s excited yelp. Most of the time I’m finding that I am grateful and content.
Let me know, what are you thankful about?
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